I Thought I Was Dying—Here’s What I Learned

Chronic disease turned my world upside down. Here’s how I found hope and healing.

After a 6 month hiatus, I am excited and grateful to announce that Brave New Us is back!

I wrapped the podcast in June to focus on writing, and I’m thrilled that my new book, To Tempt a Mother: More Letters from Screwtape, will be published by OSV next fall.

It would be easy to hide behind the book and say that’s the reason you haven’t heard from me in a while. It’s a simple explanation. But it wouldn’t be entirely accurate.

Grappling with Chronic Disease

What’s been going on behind the scenes has been far less glamorous. Over the last year, I have been clawing my way out of of the depths of chronic disease. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s hypothyroidism nearly a decade ago, but what I didn’t realize as I popped my daily replacement of thyroid hormone was that, while the pill lessened some of my symptoms, it did nothing to stop the progression of my disease.

I asked every doctor I saw if there was anything else I could be doing, any diet or lifestyle change to reduce my reliance on prescription medications. They all gave me the same answer: there was nothing I could do differently. I wish I hadn’t taken “no” for an answer. Maybe if my symptoms had been more severe at the outset, I wouldn’t have.

At their advice, I continued on with life as though nothing had changed until eventually, the disease caught up with me, ending life as I knew it.

Out of nowhere, I was hit with what I now recognize as a "flare-up"—a period when the most severe symptoms of my immune system’s attack on my body’s own cells emerge. These flare-ups can vary in intensity, ranging from mild discomfort to complete debilitation.

Doctors often don’t test for antibodies because, regardless of the severity of the immune response, the treatment remains the same: replacing the lost thyroid hormone with a synthetic version. However, this approach doesn’t address the underlying autoimmunity. For reference, normal antibody levels are typically below 34.

When my bloodwork results came back, my antibody levels were shockingly high—over 2,500. The exact number couldn’t be determined; the test doesn’t go that high.

At my worst, I was riddled with join paint and unable to muster the energy to drag myself through the basic tasks of motherhood and homemaking. At times, I was convinced that I must have undiagnosed cancer or something equally malevolent. I clearly remember thinking, over and over, “I must be dying to feel this tired.” Worse, a fog of apathy and despair settled, obscuring both a vision of a future beyond my present misery and any desire to get there.

The Healing Begins

By the grace of God, a friend introduced me to a doctor who would finally go beyond the pitifully low “standard of care” that passes for treatment of Hashimoto’s. I adopted a paleo diet, downed handfuls of supplements that alone could have qualified as a 4th daily meal, and — at the advice of my doctor — quit the vigorous exercise routine I’d adopted in my war against the extra pounds that inevitably accompany the slowed metabolism that is characteristic of Hashimoto’s.

Within a few months, my labs improved. Weight that I toiled in vain to lose began falling off — what eventually totaled 30 pounds over the course of the year. Slowly, I felt my energy return and the pain recede.

Finally, I began to feel so good each day that I realized that, although the flare up and lab results had gotten my attention, I’d been far below “normal” for much longer than I realized. I’d been playing with less than a full hand for years.

For so long, I’d harbored secret shame over my failures as a mother. I berated myself for being lazy; a better mother would have the energy to walk across the parking lot to the park with her kids, to enjoy toweling off their tiny faces at bath time, to revel in the magic of snuggling and reading stories at bedtime. I allowed compassion for myself to creep in as I realized that my reluctance to do these things while I was sick hadn’t been a character flaw, but was tied to my disease. Every cell of the human body uses thyroid hormone to function. I was depleted, and my body was fighting to restrict energy expenditure at a cellular level.

Moving Forward

Throughout this process of healing, I have learned so much. I’m still learning. I want to bring this newfound knowledge and passion to you, my readers. I still want to explore emerging medical research and technologies, but I also want to ask questions about optimal health.

Why, despite $4.5 trillion in annual healthcare spending in this country, are Americans the sickest in the developed nations?

Why is our healthcare system so adept at treating acute emergencies, and yet failing so woefully to address the harms of chronic disease?

Why are so many doctors adamant about sticking to one-size-fits-all treatments that don’t address the root causes or offer their patients the real relief they crave?

These are the kinds of questions I want to add to the purview of Brave New Us.

I want to continue to explore treatments at the cutting edge of medicine like peptide and stem cell therapies while also examining the efficacy of diet and lifestyle interventions, natural remedies, and the wisdom of traditional cultures.

This shift represents a broadening of topics, but at its core, Brave New Us will remain the same: a critical, research-based analysis of our pursuit of health and wellness and how that pursuit is transforming who we are as individuals and as a human community.

Although we won’t be returning to podcast format, email subscribers can expect Brave New Us to pop into your inboxes bimonthly. Many of these will remain free, but I will be adding paywalled content because, well, the organic vegetables and grass-fed beef that have been essential to this healing process don’t pay for themselves — nor to the mountains of books I devour to bring you well-researched information.

I am so grateful to those of you who have supported this work by praying, sharing, and supporting Brave New Us financially. Your sacrifice has kept this project going, and I am beyond excited for what’s ahead for Brave New Us in the upcoming year.

Why Become a Paid Subscriber?
Brave New Us is back, and I couldn’t be more excited to share my journey and insights with you. But producing high-quality content—researching, writing, and sharing my discoveries—takes time, energy, and resources. That’s where you come in.

As a paid subscriber, you’ll gain access to exclusive content:

• Deep dives into cutting-edge health and wellness research.

• Behind-the-scenes updates on my books.

• Practical tips and personal reflections to inspire your own journey.

Your support not only sustains this newsletter but also fuels a mission: to challenge the status quo of health and wellness and build a community rooted in hope and healing.

---

Join me on X!
Web: www.snstephenson.com
Books: Mama Prays | Reclaiming Motherhood from a Culture Gone Mad